Lessons on Life and Motherhood from a Week of Illness
This past week, we’ve been completely wiped out by the flu. 2024 really is the gift that keeps on giving.
At first, we thought it was Norovirus… it completely stopped us in our tracks. There’s nothing worse than watching your little one suffer and feeling like a helpless, but also very ill, bystander. By day four, she wasn’t improving. In fact, she was getting worse (no wet nappies for over 16 hours, completely lethargic). We ended up in A&E, where we found out it was actually Influenza A.
With my anxiety already running high after everything we’ve been hit with this year, it was easy to spiral into worst-case scenarios. At times, I truly felt like I was losing my mind. In the beginning, I was stuck in the ‘why us?’ mindset… why another blow, why our girl? I know, in the grand scheme of things, this is just a little-known virus affecting a little-known family in the Hebrides, but in that moment, it felt huge.
As the days went on and life slowed to a halt, I started looking for meaning in it all.
What is this trying to teach me?
Slowing Down & Self-Care
One of the reasons we moved to the Hebrides was to embrace a slower, more intentional way of living. And yet, I still find myself rushing… rushing to playgroups, rushing to get outside, rushing to pick up my partner from work, rushing through chores. Even in nature, I’m rushing to ‘get there’ rather than just being there. But who am I rushing for?
Is it conditioning? Anxiety? A habit I don’t even realise I have?
Illness forces you to stop. It strips life back to the essentials… rest, care, and presence. There’s no space for rushing, only the here and now. That realisation was the silver lining in an otherwise brutal week.
The Power of Rest & Recovery
When sickness hits, nothing matters more than rest. It’s easy to forget how much we need to slow down until we’re forced to. Watching my daughter sleep more than she ever has, her little body shutting down everything except healing, was a powerful reminder: sleep isn’t a luxury, it’s essential.
Side note for other parents: If your little one is sick and back-to-back episodes of Bluey are what’s keeping them (and you) sane, that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over screen time in survival mode. Some days, our daughter was too unwell to even lift her head, but on the days she could, Bluey was a comfort, and I’m grateful for it.
Resilience
At this point, I feel like resilience is a lesson life is throwing at me in spades. And sometimes I wonder—is this the lesson in all things? The dictionary defines resilience as the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties.
Illness is difficulty in its rawest form… physical and mental discomfort, lack of control, the waiting game of recovery. For us, resilience looked like getting through A&E, watching our daughter in a state of complete exhaustion, and holding space for her healing process, even when it felt unbearable. Maybe, in some way, this experience will make future challenges feel a little easier.
The Mind-Body Connection
The past few months have been some of the most stressful I’ve experienced in years. And stress, over time, wears down the body’s defences. I’m not saying stress caused us to get sick (there’s a flu outbreak here, and my partner works in hospitality, so we were bound to catch it), but it’s no surprise that we all went down so hard after everything our nervous systems have been through.
That said, I found it fascinating how my own body responded. I wasn’t nearly as unwell as my partner or daughter… just body aches and headaches. Why? Because my mind knew I had to care for my daughter. My body fell in line, saving its energy for what mattered most. The mind-body connection is so much stronger than we realise, and this whole experience has reminded me just how important it is to care for both.
Gratitude & Empathy
I’ve never been so desperate to hear my daughter wake up and start chatting my ear off before I’ve even opened my eyes. This week made me so grateful for all the moments of health we take for granted.
Since moving to the island, she’s barely been ill… just one little infection last summer. Looking back, I feel so thankful for how well she’s been, and I credit a lot of that to our surroundings and how much time we spend outside. I’ve actually been physically healthier since moving back too, even if my mental health is still a work in progress.
Strangely, I also feel a sense of gratitude for this forced pause. Grief, burnout, and overwhelm had put us into survival mode, and we needed to reset. If this virus hadn’t hit when it did, I might still be running on empty.
And then there’s the empathy side of things. I’ve always been hyper-empathetic, but illness magnifies it. I’ve been thinking so much about families dealing with ongoing health struggles. Watching your child suffer and being powerless to take it away is an indescribable kind of pain. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing that on a greater scale.
Prolonged Breastfeeding: The Unexpected Hero
Now, this one is for the fellow mamas out there… especially those who have breastfed or are considering extended breastfeeding.
Our daughter is almost three, and yes, we still breastfeed (mainly for naps and bedtime). It’s not something I ever planned for when I first started, I barely knew what I was doing. But once we got into it, there was no turning back. The WHO recommends breastfeeding up to two years and beyond, and we’ve chosen to follow a self-weaning approach, meaning she’ll stop when she’s ready.
During this illness, breastmilk was her everything… hydration, nutrition, antibodies. There were days when it was the only thing she could keep down. When the Paediatrician praised us for still breastfeeding, I felt a deep sense of validation. It wasn’t always easy, but in this moment, I knew we had made the right choice for our family.
Fun fact: When a baby is sick, and their mother kisses them, her body samples the pathogens from their skin and creates antibodies, which are then delivered to the baby through breastmilk. If that’s not the most incredible example of the mind-body connection, I don’t know what is.
Final Takeaways
This week has been a reminder of so many things:
I need to work on my mental health—not just in crisis mode, but consistently.
I need to become more adaptable to change and unexpected challenges (instead of meeting them with sheer panic).
Slowness, simplicity, and intentionality aren’t just nice ideas; they’re essential.
Hydration! I don’t drink nearly enough water, and this week has been a wake-up call.
Our daughter is still recovering, but the worst seems to be behind us. Her temperature has broken, and she’s finally starting to toilet more normally, though she’s still sleeping a lot.
If you’ve been through a rough patch of illness lately, I’d love to hear from you. What lessons did it bring? What did it teach you about yourself or your family?
For us, this experience left us with one big question: What is this trying to teach me?
And for once, I think I actually found some answers.
Til Next Time | Lesley-Anne
